God and I Have a Brief Affair

When I was 6 I thought I was Muslim

I drew a picture of God and his family

His mother his wife his son his daughter-in-law

They were all fat and happy and ghost like with red cheeks

My religion teacher made me rip it out of my notebook

Rip it to pieces and throw it in the trash

God had no wife

God had no mother

God had no children

God must have been very lonely

When I was 8 I decided to be Christian

Celebrate Christmas, go to church

My husband would be handsome, we'd have two kids and a dog

Who would look for hidden eggs on Easter

So I went to Church one day and admired the sealing,

The splendor of golden Jesus in all his pain,

The singing of incredibly dull tunes

And decided I would become a priest

But I was a girl and I was told girls could not be priests

Girls could not be bishops or popes

But they could still come to church and admire the ceiling  

At age 9 I discovered Buddhism and stuck with it for a month or two

Although I was not very sure what it was really about

I meditated while I thought about the Sun

By the age of 10 I was an atheist, one of the only ones in my class

I still attended religion classes and asked hundreds of questions

And no answer seemed to satisfy me

At the age of 16, I'm a believer

I believe in the smell of salty skin in the sun, in boat city tours and spicy foods

I believe in unmade beds and red tulips and lipstick that you eat off your lips during the day

I believe in broccoli soup and poking your finger into the melted part of a candle

In men with funny mustaches and blueberries that are unnaturally large and
Long, wet walks in the autumn that get your shoes dirty

At the age of 16 I am a believer and

I'm still an atheist